haiti i am sorry

Overwhelming sadness slams into the world, the Caribbean, Grenada, the Village and me. I have not been able to write or paint for the past week. Sunk into Haiti’s devastating tragedy, I wonder how a country moves from despair into hope. Every day new stories reveal themselves on local radio stations. The latest story is of Haiti’s national football (soccer) team. Over 30 players, coaches and referees dead. Putting faces onto the inaccessible sorrow. Theo is a football coach and once played for the Grenada national football team so our northern sister island is not so far anymore.

No longer is Haiti seen as a poor distant cousin in the eyes of the Caribbean region. She is now close and personal. Over two decades ago Trinidad & Tobago’s David Rudder produced a calypso that haunts us today as we listen to his words over and over on local radio stations in between nation wide fund raising broadcasts.
Haiti I’m sorry
We misunderstood you,
But one day we’ll turn around
And look inside you.
Haiti I’m sorry
Haiti I’m so sorry...
But one day we’ll turn our heads,
Restore your glory

Who knew a 7.0 earthquake killing and injuring thousands and leaving millions homeless would be the day the world turns around and looks inside Haiti. Rudder’s chorus reaches deep into the psyche of those who know Haiti’s history and her long struggle for freedom; freedom from slavery in the 1800s, freedom from historical and world debt, freedom from corrupt politicians, freedom from oppression and violence, freedom from persistent poverty, freedom from the world’s negative stereotypes and prejudisms, freedom from natural disasters, freedom, freedom , freedom…

The irony shouts loud and clear. Haiti, brave powerful resilient strong Haiti paved the way for Latin American and the Caribbean by leading the first revolt against slavery in the western hemisphere. Haiti won a ten year revolution against the French and became the first independent country in the Americas in 1804. However from birth Haiti was isolated, ostracized and denied access to world trade, finance and institutional development. According to the history books it was the most vicious example of national strangulation recorded in modern history. The Haitians were alone from inception. In 1825 the country had to find a way to insert themselves back into the world economy and thus approached their past colonizers for assistance. They were told they would be recognized as a sovereign nation however not without compensation and reparation in exchange. The sums amounted to 150 million gold francs. Haitians with their backs against the wall agreed and thus began the systematic destruction of the republic of Haiti.

There are layers and layers of historical context to this tragedy. I hope one day, we as a global nation, will begin to know not only our own histories but our neighbor’s histories as well. Then can we begin to look inside one another and recognize our common humanity and our common contribution to devastation and havoc. My hope too, is that we make Haiti a teachable moment for our privileged children. May they know the historical context behind Haiti and not just see Haiti as another poor black country that the privileged kids of the West must save their pennies for.

The fine line of hope and despair continues to reveal itself. Today I woke up committed to breaking this spell of sadness and moving more fully into the world. Yesterday I was sad and angry. Today I am responsible for me and how I choose to connect to this world. I remember reading about a Buddhist teacher who encouraged people filled with despair over the state of the world with wise and simple advice, “Its our turn to help the world.” Haiti’s tragedy is a wake up call for us to step forward to create positive changes in the world, through our generous offerings to an earth quake destroyed country and to our own corners of the world.

Hope lies in the global, regional and national response to Haiti’s dire needs. For the past week there is a calmness here in the village. A common recognition of our vulnerable states and our common inherent goodness as we all move together to give forth our offerings. A local radio station organized an island wide motorcade the Saturday after the Quake. A convoy of transport trucks, buses, cars and motorbikes traveled around the island collecting whatever people could give. The radio station followed the trucks live while listeners called in to see where and when the convoy would reach them. Most of us were instructed to head to the main roads. Maya, Theo and I traveled down with our hockey bag full of clothes and food stuff. We were greeted by others lining the side of the road with their contributions. There were many people there, who with very little themselves threw their bags of contributions on to the trucks. The Tivoli drummers, Grenada’s finest cultural drum troupe, beat their support and solidarity from the back of one of the transports. A DJ set on a next truck blaring David Rudder’s haunting voice “Haiti I am sorry. Haiti I am so sorry”