Understanding Violence:
Young Men in Dialogue
I would like
to give a big ‘Shout Out’ to Mr. Claude Douglas (sociologist, political
analyst, adult educator, inspirational speaker, and author) for taking the time
to facilitate a peace-building session with the young men of Harford
Village. Another big ‘Shout Out’ to the
young men of the community for showing up and sharing their perspectives on
peace and peacelessness on a personal, community and national level. The community session confirmed the essential
need for safe positive spaces where boys and men come together and take part in
the dialogue for peaceful change.
The evening
session began with an activity that enabled young men to explore and examine
different personal states of peace and peacelessness in their lives. Mr. Douglas pointed out that in order to break
the cycle of violence that is prevalent in our families, communities,
workplaces and society on a whole we must address peace on a personal level. “Peace
begins within,” said Mr. Douglas, “If you find and strengthen your own state
of peace than you will not be controlled by what others think or say about you.”
Concluding
the opening activity Mr. Douglas sat in circle with the young men and shared
his perspective based on the participant’s contributions. Mr. Douglas spoke
of the root causes of conflict and violence in men and boy’s lives and
subsequently women’s lives. He spoke of gender socialization and how men/boys
are socialized from a young age to be tough, hard, not to show or speak their
emotions and if they do they are often ridiculed and punished for being weak. Mr. Douglas believes the suppression of
emotions is one reason men and boys find themselves in situations where acts of
uncontrollable violence are the means to deal with conflict. Mr. Douglas also spoke of power relations
and how men and women are taught from an early age that men are superior to
women and that we live in a hierarchal power-driven world where we believe
there is always someone better or less then us. He told the young men repeatedly “Never believe
anyone is better or less then you. We are all equal in our humanness.” Mr.
Douglas believes the socialization of gender roles, attitudes, and behaviour
needs to be addressed on a community and national level. He shared examples from his own marriage and
told the young men he was not afraid to cook, or bake, or wash his wife’s
clothes; he was not afraid to look weak in the eyes of his male friends by
picking up the phone and calling his wife to tell her where he was during the day
or evening.
Mr. Douglas reinforced repeatedly that conflict was an inevitable part of life; however how we deal
with conflict was a choice. He stressed that violence was a choice and that we
needed to teach boys and men alternative non-violent ways to deal with
conflict. The session confirmed the need
to have community sessions where male mentors like Mr. Douglas take the lead in
mobilizing spaces where men and boys come together to unlearn violence and
relearn non-violent ways of being in the world. Mr. Douglas expressed the need
to confront and address socialized gender roles that are deeply affecting our
ability to see one another as equal human beings.
Recently Grenada
has witnessed a continuous cycle of violence from the beating of a Principal by
an 11 year old school boy with a cricket bat, to numerous domestic violent
incidences that resulted in women losing their lives or being seriously
injured, to the incarceration of boys and men for violent crimes. Now more than
ever there is need to explore, examine,
and create paths to building cultures of peace within our relationships,
families, schools, communities, organizations and country. Thank You Mr.
Douglas for sharing your time, wisdom and compassion and thank you Harford
Village men for being part of the peace process!!!
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