Building Cultures
of Peace through Spoken Word and Community Yoga
Giving
thanks and praise for the power of yoga and poetry bringing people together
through movement; through mindful attention to the body, mind and emotions;
through words expressing the internal; through
taking poses that lean, balance and depend on one another; through speaking words of
self and others; through being in kinship while bending, stretching, balancing,
twisting, reaching, moving our bodies, our minds.
I give
thanks and praise for the youth who blessed these evenings with presence and
courage; playfulness and strength trusting in the process of words and movement.
I give
thanks and praise for Damarlie Antoine and Malaika
Brooks-Smith-Lowe for facilitating
these powerful sessions and continuing their creative critical work in personal
and social transformation!
Especially when they get mad
No matter how hard you try
No easy way to slip inside
So the solution to get inside
Cause she lock down she house so tight
Whether rain or sun
Morning, noon or night
Is the only way to win this fight.
What to do?
Kick in she back door
Kick in she back door
What ah mean?
Kick um in
And she bawling murder
[more screaming]
Gender Based Violence is Everybody's Business
Over the weeks I have been trying
to understand a few things in relation to gender based violence in Grenada. For
instance I am trying to understand the criticism towards Grenada National
Organization of Women (GNOW) for standing up and against the soca song ‘Kick in She Back Door’ (a song that promoting
violence against women) and why some people think it is a waste of time for
GNOW to pursue this issue. I am also trying to understand those who recognize
gender based violence as a serious problem in Grenada and yet continue to
criticize the work of GNOW and I am trying to understand why many people
believe gender based violence is a women’s issue and therefore the responsibility of women and women’s
organizations alone.
I write in order to understand. For example if people
believe violence against women is wrong; if you as man or woman would be
enraged, frightened, shamed to have your daughter, mother, sister, auntie,
grandmother’s back door kicked in by a man who is trying to get in when he is
not welcomed then you too should be speaking out against this song. This is not
an issue of freedom of speech this is an issue of violent lyrics that are
promoting violence against women. Whether you believe it should come off the
radio or not you should be speaking out. Many critics of GNOW say why this song
and not all the other violent songs. This I believe is a question that must be
asked and reflected upon by all of us. Along with, why are we waiting for GNOW
to do the work? Gender based violence is not a women’s issue it is a social,
health, political, economic, environmental, spiritual issue, it is a ‘we’
issue, a man and woman’s issue. So why aren’t churches, government ministries, non-government
and community organizations, businesses speaking out against this song and
other violent songs.
People question why focus on songs when there are many other
urgent issues to deal with related to gender based violence and this too is
true however I believe without getting at a deeper more critical understanding
of the root causes of gender based violence then the more urgent issues will be
treated at a surface level without understanding where violence comes from. There
are many of us who don’t understand that violence is a learned behaviour. We
learn how to be violent through various socialization processes. Music is one
of them. Music is a huge part of our culture so why not make this song and
other violent songs a place where we begin to bring attention to one of the
ways violence is learned and reinforced. I agree there is no escaping what many
people defend as freedom of speech, however what are we teaching our children
and youth if we are not questioning and critically analyzing these forms of
socialization but rather defending them.
I believe we need to begin critically analysing violence in
all its forms in order to understand how violence is learned and how violence
is reinforced, normalized, glamorized and internalized. We need to teach our
kids and youth critical thinking so they can analyse these songs themselves and
come up with their own means of understanding the negative and violent effects
of songs like ‘Kick Down She Back Door’. Perhaps then it won’t only be women’s
organizations like GNOW speaking out but also men, women, youth, radio
announcers, teachers, ministers of parliament, and church people.
I make a special plea to the men of our society, gender
based violence is your problem too! The major victims of violence are not women
alone it is men too. Men and boys are being murdered, imprisoned, assaulted,
raped by other men. Check out the statistics for yourselves. I believe it is in
everyone’s interest to examine the concept of masculinity and the socialization
of masculinity. Violence is no longer recognized as deviant behaviour but an
accepted form of masculinity. This must change in order for changes to take
place at a personal, community, institutional and cultural level.
We are all responsible for the violence in our society. We
are all responsible for the violence perpetuated by and against men, women,
children and youth.Before you criticize
the work of GNOW please ask yourself what are you doing to stop the violence? Every one
of us must ask ourselves what we are doing to resist, reduce, eliminate
violence in our children, youth, men, and women’s lives. Gender based violence affects all of us. Gender based violence is everybody’s business.
Martin Luther
King once said, ‘It is not the words of our enemies but the silence of our
friends that will hurt us in the end.”
We need to break that silence.
I would like
to give a big ‘Shout Out’ to Mr. Claude Douglas (sociologist, political
analyst, adult educator, inspirational speaker, and author) for taking the time
to facilitate a peace-building session with the young men of Harford
Village.Another big ‘Shout Out’ to the
young men of the community for showing up and sharing their perspectives on
peace and peacelessness on a personal, community and national level.The community session confirmed the essential
need for safe positive spaces where boys and men come together and take part in
the dialogue for peaceful change.
The evening
session began with an activity that enabled young men to explore and examine
different personal states of peace and peacelessness in their lives. Mr. Douglas pointed out that in order to break
the cycle of violence that is prevalent in our families, communities,
workplaces and society on a whole we must address peace on a personal level. “Peace
begins within,” said Mr. Douglas, “If you find and strengthen your own state
of peace than you will not be controlled by what others think or say about you.”
Concluding
the opening activity Mr. Douglas sat in circle with the young men and shared
his perspective based on the participant’s contributions. Mr. Douglas spoke
of the root causes of conflict and violence in men and boy’s lives and
subsequently women’s lives. He spoke of gender socialization and how men/boys
are socialized from a young age to be tough, hard, not to show or speak their
emotions and if they do they are often ridiculed and punished for being weak. Mr. Douglas believes the suppression of
emotions is one reason men and boys find themselves in situations where acts of
uncontrollable violence are the means to deal with conflict.Mr. Douglas also spoke of power relations
and how men and women are taught from an early age that men are superior to
women and that we live in a hierarchal power-driven world where we believe
there is always someone better or less then us. He told the young men repeatedly “Never believe
anyone is better or less then you. We are all equal in our humanness.” Mr.
Douglas believes the socialization of gender roles, attitudes, and behaviour
needs to be addressed on a community and national level.He shared examples from his own marriage and
told the young men he was not afraid to cook, or bake, or wash his wife’s
clothes; he was not afraid to look weak in the eyes of his male friends by
picking up the phone and calling his wife to tell her where he was during the day
or evening.
Mr. Douglas reinforced repeatedly that conflict was an inevitable part of life; however how we deal
with conflict was a choice. He stressed that violence was a choice and that we
needed to teach boys and men alternative non-violent ways to deal with
conflict. The session confirmed the need
to have community sessions where male mentors like Mr. Douglas take the lead in
mobilizing spaces where men and boys come together to unlearn violence and
relearn non-violent ways of being in the world. Mr. Douglas expressed the need
to confront and address socialized gender roles that are deeply affecting our
ability to see one another as equal human beings.
Recently Grenada
has witnessed a continuous cycle of violence from the beating of a Principal by
an 11 year old school boy with a cricket bat, to numerous domestic violent
incidences that resulted in women losing their lives or being seriously
injured, to the incarceration of boys and men for violent crimes. Now more than
ever there isneed to explore, examine,
and create paths to building cultures of peace within our relationships,
families, schools, communities, organizations and country. Thank You Mr.
Douglas for sharing your time, wisdom and compassion and thank you Harford
Village men for being part of the peace process!!!
